Item #1: Cell phone with bright green cover. My lifeline to my parents, my sister, and my best friend (whom I failed miserably today when I was home but said phone was still stuck in said purse, well out of my range of hearing.
Item #2: Ipod. What's on my ipod is probably an entire post within itself. Muppets, Dave Matthews, a whole lot of classical music and a ton of Irish music, a sizable amount of country, Disney, audio recordings of the Book of Mormon and other scriptures, plus a bunch of audiobooks. Thanks to my dear Mumsie (my MIL) I now adore audiobooks. I don't know what all that says about me.
Item #3: Burt's Bees pink grapefruit lip balm. I've been addicted to lip balm since about 6th grade. About the same time I started played flute. I think I've actually had small panic attacks at those rare times that I found I left home without it.
Item #4: Lonely wadded dollar bill. I'm always short on cash - I was surprised to find this.
Item #5: Keys. One for Lemonjello, one for Masterchief (husband's car), one for parent's home, and one for clan home. Plus a Texas shaped bottle opener painted like a Texas flag. All on a carabiner (thanks to Jackson, who will likely never read this).
Item #6: Eclipse spearmint gum. I'm picky about how my mouth and lips feel. I blame years of fluting.
Item #7: Black and white polka dotted wallet. Full of receipts, driver's license, mostly useless cards, and temple recommend. No cash.
Item #8: Checkbook. Battered, but not very used.
Item #9: Empty water bottle. My dehydration is never ending. I also have low enough blood pressure that I nearly blackout more often than not when I stand up.
Item #10: Stay Matte pressed powder. I have oily skin. VERY oily skin. It comes from my dad's mother's family. I believe the joke with one of her sisters was that she used to slip out of bed as soon as she slipped in, thanks to her greasy skin.
Item #11: Tuning fork on a green ribbon. That's definitely from Kodaly training and working as an elementary music specialist.
Item #12: Retractable (broken) tape measure. That would be the seamstress/costumer in me.
Item(s) #13: 2 pair foldable scissors. Also a product of the aforementioned seamstressing.
Item #14: A list of Hungarian universities to look into. You know, just in case we do wind up in Europe at some point and I could do a doctorate at one of them. That is, if they offer it in English and I could tailor the program to my tastes.
Item(s) #15: 3 packages chewing gum. Now this is pathetic. All three of these packages came from Natti's room when we cleaned it out. And I've been rationing them to myself. Because of course the second that I finish chewing all of her gum she's gone forever. Sounds ridiculous out loud but sometimes I feel that way. So if I get sick in the future from chewing gum that's 10 years old, you'll know why.
Item #16: Small spray bottle of Bath & Body Works body spray. The bottle says coconut lime verbena, but I'm pretty sure it's passion fruit in there. It's also so swollen from going on plane trips that it might explode at any second.
Item #17: Small travel bottle of lotion, commandeered from a hotel on our recent road trip.
Item #18: Ziplock bag of dried cranberries. I love dried cranberries. Too bad I didn't eat these. I don't think I want to now.
Item #19: Tampon. I'm a female between the ages of 14 and 50, so that shouldn't surprise anyone.
Item #20: Grocery shopping list from weeks past. Looks like I managed to get most of what was on it.
Item(s) #21: Gift cards from thank yous, Christmas, and a birthday I think. Most of them to fabric stores. :)
Item #22: Kermit the Frog pencil pouch stuffed with pens and pencils, most of which are black and green. There is also a dry erase marker in there - yet another indicator of life at the elementary school.
Item #25: Little plastic cowboy guy. Same size as the little plastic green army men usually belonging to little boys. I have no doubt this one leaped to the "safety" of my purse from the container of prizes for second graders.
Item #26: Purple earbuds. I couldn't find green ones in the selection I was searching through at Big Lots.
Item #27: Hand sanitizer, vanilla scented, originating from Bath & Body Works, with the label proclaiming "I <3 Geeks."
Item #28: Blistex. A gift from Middle Sister while I was visiting on spring break and used repeatedly while I was sick for 5 weeks + and my lips were perpetually chapped and raw to the point of bleeding.
Item(s) #29: 3 tubes lip gloss. All of which previously belonged to Natti. Mostly this is a testament to the fact that whenever I throw lip gloss or lipstick into my purse on Sunday, it is a long time in reemerging from the black hole that is my purse.
Item #30: 1 pair silver earrings, previously belonging to Natti. They go with everything. And yet nothing because I think they've been living in there since I took pictures with me Mam and sister over spring break.
Item(s) #30: Assortment of bobby pins and safety pins. One can never be too prepared.
Item #31: Thumb drive. I'm not actually sure what's on this thing. I'm gonna have to plug it in when I'm done and find out...
Item #32: Used spoon wrapped in napkin. I'm rather embarrassed about this one. I know it's from the craziness that was Intermuse and took up my life for the two weeks previous, but eew.
Item(s) #33: 1 Ricola cough drop, 1 Ricola cough drop wrapper, and 11 Halls vitamin C drop wrappers. Those Halls Defense vitamin C drops might have saved my life. I downed approximately 25 per day during Intermuse.
Item(s) #34: 2 clean tissues. Plus an embarrassing amount of used tissues. More than 10, less than 50. Yes, I did count but I simply can't admit the exact number. Especially because I cleaned out the tissues before Intermuse started.
Item #35: A small piece of paper with a drawing of the teddy bear we saw at a gas station in Jordan. it looked like it had hydrocephalus. Naturally, it was drawn by Indy and completed with the caption, "My every breath brings agony..." and a label, "My Tiny Teddy!"
I'm afraid of what a stranger would think of me if they happened upon this purse. They'd probably start to look through it only to run immediately to the nearest sink and begin to sanitize themselves after realizing what they thought was a purse is clearly a shrine to used tissues. In fact, I doubt they would have ever got past the used tissues to explore the array of other useless items.
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